If they judge, "Smack 'em" as Pearl would say!

O.K. so the rent check didn’t bounce, the bank let it clear (I’ll write about how I made that happen without overdraft protection as the days go on) so for now I don’t have to worry about Pearl just yet.

I was however charged an overdraft fee but like I mentioned in my first blog, $30 was a whole lot less than a $75 late fee.

Now there are rules of survival when you’re going through a financial dilemma. Each day, I will touch upon one but the first, the very first, is EMBRACE the NEGATIVE and slap the crap out of it before it slaps you.

Unfortunately, there are going to be so many negative forces coming at you, hitting you dead in the face as the force has been put out there; you’re in a state of need.

And I don’t mean negative forces like bill collectors, because they don’t bother me the least bit. At this point, you should embrace them and welcome them. Hell, call them before they call you, because they can actually help you and I’ll get into all of that in another blog over the next few days.

And yes you might get sick of eating chicken every night but being creative enough you can prepare it in new and tasty ways you never imagined and you know what, as Americans we over eat almost all of the time anyway (we really do and need to change our eating habits even the slim folks for health reasons) so cutting back on a few meals might be just what you need to do regardless. And if the cable goes out, just keep reading my blog daily because I got one for that too providing you haven’t had to resort to selling the DVD or VHS player to make ends meet.

In my case, my negative right now is not just finding a source of steady income and money to pay the bills but I have to buy all new furniture.

And of all the furniture I lost, I dream, oh how I dream, of a bed. No this is really serious. I dream of a bed the way I used to dream and fantasize about a man before all of this happened.

My fantasies now of a bed are so deep, so exciting and so intense they’re almost orgasmic. I mean I get well let’s just say, I get overly zealous below when I fantasize about sleeping in a bed again. And no, not just any bed. After sleeping on an air mattress for weeks and now the futon, I’m talking about a real bona fide, hellafied bed.

I sit here and I imagine this super fine looking, able to hold me and comfort me in a way I’ve never been held before, bed. It’s structurally massive with strong legs and it’s filled with pillows that when I plunge down on it, I’ll just sink, melt away and forget everything. I find myself dreaming that I’ll hug tightly in my arms one of the many down pillows its adorned with and I’ll be slowly rolling and turning every which way moving my legs bit by bit, up and down, against the soft silky feeling 1000 thread count solid Egyptian cotton sheets as I’m wearing just the right short silk cream tap pants that allow my legs to go up and down and oh,……….o.k. I’m back. Forgive me, I told you it’s almost orgasmic this wish I have for a bed now. Who would have thought, that a bed would be my ultimate fantasy man, but back to reality and the futon I now share with my daughter and the other negative forces out there.

Now the one negative force you should look out for and be most aware of is judgment. People who know you and those who don’t are going to judge so be prepared.

Of course not everyone is going to judge, but be prepared for those that do because if you haven’t already accepted that NO ONE has the right to judge you and if you aren’t mentally equipped for those that will, it could really cripple you more during your struggle.

What you need to recognize is those folks that judge aren’t any better than you other than they just might happen to have fatter wallets at the moment, so recognize because they are going to come full speed ahead. “Smack ‘em’” as Pearl would say, before they smack you.

Also look out for the folks who I really love; the folks who tell you what to do and how to do it and are really in no better a position than you are and most are only a check away from disaster themselves. Then there are the ones who will have all of the solutions to offer you verbally, but wouldn’t help you with working out one of those solutions even though they are in position to do so.

You also need to know that as much as these negative people are out there, there are also just as many you will be blessed with during the struggle that will help. They will not judge and they will offer help whether it’s financial, spiritual or with knowledge. If you’re lucky, they’ll come like three kings bearing all.

What I’ve always had a hard time with is recognizing not those that judge, I’ve seen more of them than those disgusting bugs in that apartment and unfortunately there’s no pesticide for them either, just run!

No the ones I have a hard time recognizing are those that come with blessings. I unfortunately have been here before and sometimes because of so many of the negatives hitting me all at once, I didn’t recognize the blessings that came my way. I almost made that mistake again just yesterday. Note to self, tomorrow’s blog, “How to tell a Bug from a Blessing.”

Here’s how I embraced the negative during this go around. Since we now live in a technological world, I put this blog out there. Putting this blog out there was something I thought long and hard about almost as much as I thought about that super fine bed I yearn for.

I decided to do it not to gain instant monetary help, because I already know numerous people in a financial position to help. It would be nothing for them to write a check whether it was a gift or a loan and it wouldn’t affect their daily life or future in the least bit. But you see they would never do that and I know that already.

Most of those people I’m referring to are reading this blog right at this moment and will continue to read this blog daily and never even let me know they are aware of my current plight or acknowledge the blog to me in any way. You see these are the folks who are rooting for me to fail; to fall harder. What doing this does is that it allows them to feel better in their worlds they’ve created with material and monetary things yet, unfortunately are still unhappy. When people are unhappy with themselves, they can’t be happy for someone else; money has nothing to do with it.

An acquaintance told me recently, when people say they are happy for you, what they really mean is “I’m happy for you as long as you’re not happier than me.” Wow, I never really thought of it like that before but I would suppose with some folks he’s right.

When I hear people with an abundance of money say, money doesn’t make you happy, I feel sorry for them. I am happy now in my life even as I struggle financially, but with an abundance of money oh my goodness, the skies would be the limit in regards to my happiness. It would allow me to fulfill so many of my dreams and then some. I’d also be able to help others who like me are happy but are unfortunately also challenged economically.

MONEY WOULD DEFINITELY NOT MAKE ME HAPPY right now, it would make me HAPPIER. Look at that, I just came up with a new way to generate some income. In a few days, you will officially be able to buy a T-shirt right here that says one of two things, “Money doesn’t make me happy. It makes me Happier!” or perhaps for some of you, you might prefer, “Money doesn’t make me happy at least that what’s I tell my friends who are broke.” All proceeds of the sales will go to the Hellafied Bed Fund :o)

Now, if someone has money, is healthy and is in a fairly normal mental state and still is unhappy, I feel terribly sad for them. They just don’t get it. The house excuse me, I mean the houses, the husband/the wife, the lovers on the side, the cars and all the trips around the world still can’t quite fill these folks lives with the joy they seek.

Me as I said, even through this journey of “temporary” financial hardship, I am happy with life. If these people lived one day in my shoes, I’d bet you their asses wouldn’t be running that line, “money doesn’t make you happy.” Bull! Let me tell you something as an example, illness can hit any one of us money or not as we all know, but stress is a surefire killer. And you’d rather be a person with money then without going through an illness. You can get the best doctors, a quicker doctor’s appointment, hell just the fact that you can go to a doctor is a start, some folks without money can’t even do that. You’re more than likely not to have to worry about the cost of a surgery whereas someone without money along with being unfortunately ill, they have to now worry if they can even afford the surgery and hope the stress of it all doesn’t kill them first. You believe money doesn’t make a difference and create happiness you’re sadly mistaken.

As I mentioned I am actually happy even through all of this. I am absolutely in love with the way my kid has turned out and you know what, it was all me. No extended family to help raise her or unfortunately no father although I do believe every child deserves to have two parents (like I said, another day, another blog). She and I even after sharing tears through this mess still find a way to laugh our heads off, to dream about tomorrow and continuously come up with new and creative ways to make money. I am absolutely thrilled that I was blessed with a spirit to want to be an entrepreneur. I haven’t quite figured it out but I love that I won’t give up. Each day I create, I passionately research and meet exciting people who motivate me and allow me to continue to dream. I love that I’m not afraid to admit when I mess up (there was a time when I couldn’t do that long, long ago) and more importantly I love that I just don’t really have any more fears.

I used to be fearful of so many things but now, well now I’ve just stumbled so many times but always some how gotten right back up and found a way that now it’s just a matter of when will I stand again not will I stand again. And I confess, maybe the bugs scared my ass a bit but other than that no fears.

I love that God made me this way and I embrace each and every negative that has ever crossed my path. I know, in fact I am absolutely certain that this will all make sense in the end and only lead me to do great things.

I decided to write this blog because a friend of mine who continuously inspires and supports me, reminded me recently that I once desired putting down all of my survival tools in an effort to help other people who like me have stumbled and perhaps are not as clever with a quarter. The Survival Guide along with helping others would eventually generate another source of income.

Blogging also allows me to challenge myself. I now have put all of this out there for the world to read and to judge. Now as much as I am not emotionally affected by the judgers (I’ve since passed that five or six struggles ago) and as I just stated no one has the right to judge, folks still will. Inspiration comes to us in many ways and if having the world looking at me while I’m down actually inspires me in some way to make it all happen, then welcome to my blog.

Wow, I just motivated the crap out of myself. With that, I bid adieu as I must now go and make this quarter work for me today before Pearl comes again knocking at my door.
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