How To Tell A Bug from A Blessing

This is something I’ve been trying to figure out for some time. How does someone tell the difference between a Bug and a Blessing? It seems like it should be an easy spotting, but not quite so.

You see, once I got rid of the disgusting bed bugs, I’ve since then had to watch out for all the other bugs coming at me and you know what? They are not as easy to spot as a little teeny tiny bed bug, but like bed bugs they will creep out slyly and want to latch on to you and suck you dry whether it is your emotions, your time or holding you back as you try to make your way out of the mess you are already dealing with.

Yep, human bugs are worse than bed bugs. Where bed bugs come out only at night, unfortunately human bugs will come at ya anytime of the day and disguise themselves as blessings so be aware and be careful, because just when you think you’re getting blessed, you get bit right in the ass.

You will find two kinds of people during this time.

There are those who really come with true blessings and come with like I mentioned before, a variety of blessings. Some may be monetary, some will be with information (information is a great blessing and my favorite) and some with inspiration, which in the end will be what really gets you through it all. These people have no other intent but to help because THEY CAN and what makes it a true blessing is that they are looking for nothing in return. Trust me these people exist and they too will be blessed in the end.

Unfortunately, you have to get the Raid ready because there are the bugs out there that see your misfortune as THEIR OPPORTUNITY. They have their own agenda and unfortunately it is at the expense of your adversity. Any offerings they make will come with a price tag, usually a very heavy price tag.

These bugs will offer help and want you to think you are getting blessed only in hopes that in the end they will receive something. That something could be an array of things from a greater monetary reward in the end if they loan you money, a way in which they can make themselves feel good (yes, some people help you not to make you feel better but to make themselves feel better as they are insecure in life and can only feel better about themselves if they feel they have something over someone else), then there are the bugs who hope to gain friendships and/or relationships through their offerings and lastly, those who will not even truly want to help but will try to distract you from your mission because in the end, they really don’t want to see you succeed. If you succeed they feel you might be happier than they are and God forbid they should find happiness within themselves. These folks are the bugs that we as a society need to find a spray for and make you wonder as my daughter would say, “How the hell did they make it this far in life?”

Now folks, you know out there who you are disguising yourselves as people when you know damn well you’re a bug. Stand up and stop hiding behind the costume.

And please, if you have any self value or an ounce of compassion, do not try and take advantage of someone who is already down. My vast experience with bugs has now taught me to spot a bug fairly quickly, how to handle them (open up a can of whip ass) when they do eventually make a true appearance or if nothing else run fast as lightning for my life and change all numbers immediately. Unfortunately though, there are some people who are down and out and just can’t see you bugs coming or are tired from the struggle and can’t run as fast so for the sake of those people, I beg of you, leave those people/us alone and find someone else to bite.

Here’s a story about a bug that came out of the wood works almost twenty years later. Like those nasty disgusting bed bugs who can hide and hibernate in a crack of furniture up to eighteen months so can some humans until they are ready to come out and bite you right in the ass.

I went through another financial struggle many years a go and bugs were every where. I had a then friend (note that, A THEN FRIEND) call me during my financial dilemma and OFFERED (note that, SHE OFFERED. I did not ask) to lend me $1,000 to help pay part of my then mortgage. Actually her offer was grander. She said, whatever you need I have just say the amount, because I have $75,000 cash saved up for a rainy day and I know you’re good for it. Well, I had known this person for eighteen years and she definitely knew I was good for it, but I was beyond shocked when she told me she had $75,000 cash saved. I mean she lived in the projects, was on public assistance and yes, had a full time job too but damn public assistance was that good, $75,000. Where the hell do I apply was what I was thinking but I digress.

We were LIKE sisters and knew each other for over 18 years as mentioned and when she was down and out, I brought bags of groceries I got using my thrifty coupons and never asked for gas even though I travelled from Long Island and she lived in Brooklyn and things were rough for me too as a single mother trying to make ends meet (and now that I think about it, how the hell was she ever down and out and accepting my groceries with $75,000 stashed. Again, I digress). I even let her use my address in Long Island to save her over $1,300 a year in car insurance fees over three years (do the math). It was only right that I accepted the loan and ACCEPT THIS BLESSSING. Here’s that Charlie Murphy yelling in my ear again, WRONG!

I will never forget the day she loaned me the money (I only accepted what I truly needed at the time $1,000 because I hate borrowing money). It was Christmas Eve and she said, “Merry Christmas and take your time paying me back just get yourself together.”

Well perhaps she blew through that $75,000 she bragged about quicker than the average person because by Jan. 15th she was asking if and when I was filing my taxes because she wanted and needed her money back.

Now pay attention because here’s where I really got blessed as the loan was obviously not a blessing. Suddenly without filing my taxes money swiftly started coming through my hands. That was the day I learned to turn my groceries I bought for $20 with coupons into $150 by selling them to the bodegas. Within two weeks of hustling groceries out of the back of my trunk, I was able to pay her back that $1,000. But, here’s where a bug isn’t satisfied with just a bite, they want to suck your blood until you’re dry. She then told me after I paid her back in full within less than a month; she now wanted $350 interest on the loan. No that is not a misprint, that’s exactly what I typed. $350 interest on a loan not even a month old. I was better off going to see Gotti's boys with that kind of interest.

Now most people would say, F*&% that you and you must be crazy if you gave her back an additional $350. But you see I was blessed yet again. I got my tax money a week later and I gave her the $350 interest she wanted. And then with her eyes wide open in shock she said, “I hope you’re not upset that I had to charge you interest but there were fees involved….” and before she could continue I stopped her. I told her of course she had to charge me interest and of course fees were involved and it was all good. We were good.

Now of course I never spoke with this woman ever again although she tried to reach out to me on a few occasions. I gave her the $350 for a number of reasons. The first is that money is fleeting and it comes and it goes. $350 was and even in my current state pocket change as it couldn’t even pay my rent perhaps the cell phone bill and cable and a few groceries if I’m lucky. Secondly and most importantly, this wasn’t about the money and I knew that. This was about ENVY and FEAR. Combined they are deadly.

You see this woman was always envious that I owned a home and she lived in the projects and although she had the financial ability to move out she had something else that was worse that crippled her from moving out. She had fear!

My courage to go out and purchase a home on my own and trust me with a whole lot less than $75,000, hell a lot less than $7,500 just irritated her to the bone. Her envy of my courage and survival was killing her and so she used the money as a way she thought and hoped would break me. And although to some it may seem like I wasn’t blessed I truly was because in the end I wiped a bug out in thirty days. Could you imagine having it continue to hibernate and near me for another twenty years to come to bite me even harder in the ass?

My survival tool today people is keep an eye out for bugs and even those that bite can eventually be stomped out and lead way for many blessings to come. So sleep tight tonight, don’t let the bed bugs bite because tomorrow is another day. In fact, tomorrow will be a great day! Who knows, maybe we’ll all stomp a bug along the way.

Ebay helps to Save the Day but sure can be a pain in the ass!

It’s taken me all this time to write another blog for two reasons. One I have been very busy trying to be clever with a quarter and make ends meet each day. Secondly, I really wanted to write about the difference between a bug and a blessing since I did mention it before but unfortunately I found myself at a loss as to the difference these days. In any event, I have put some thoughts down in regards to that and will share those thoughts tomorrow.

As far as being Clever with a Quarter, EBAY is a great way to make some fast cash providing you have things of value to sell. Actually with eBay that could be pretty much anything as there are people from all walks of life looking for the most unimaginable things. Straight up weirdo’s if you ask me as you can sell anything from used old well worn shoes, to a used toilet that was in an old home that Jerry Garcia owned and I believe it netted over $2,500. Unbelievable!

I have reached great success on eBay selling my own items but unfortunately I loss most if not all of my inventory due to the bugs so selling came to an abrupt halt. Selling other people items would seem like a reasonable solution considering the times, but WRONG! as Charlie Murphy would say. I have had nothing but sure fire headaches selling other peoples stuff and lost money along the way. I just attempted one last time these past few weeks and they say the third time is the charm and I say the third time was the biggest pain in the ass to date and I will never make this mistake again.

My first experience found me trying to extend a thank you to someone who made an effort to helping me get sales for my books. This person lived out of state and my thank you cost me more than simply just giving a commission on the books. It cost me over a hundred dollars in tolls and gas combined with many hours sitting in horrific traffic. When my daughter and I finally arrived to list their items (they had a house filled with great eBay possibilities), this person was so dearly attached to their clutter and didn’t want to sell anything but well junk. I knew I was in trouble then as my travel time wasn’t worth what they were willing to part with and truthfully it should have all went to goodwill. By the end of the auctions, I paid all the listing fees, final value fees and PayPal fees (yes eBay is quite expensive) and after transferring over the funds, I didn’t even receive a thank you for all the time and effort put into it. My thank you ended up by costing me over three hundred dollars and a Negative Feedback (eBay’s customer service rating) on my account. I should have let that be my first and last experience selling items for someone else, but I'm a sucker for punishment.

This last experience, I found myself cleaning, yes cleaning items as the person didn’t even have enough decency to wipe down their dusty grime ridden items prior to handing them over. The end result netted me if I am lucky a profit of $24 and that does not include taking out gas money and shipping supplies and on top of everything, three complaints, one reimbursement and dealing with a man who whined like a woman throughout the process and thought he was doing me a favor. In fact after doing the math, I actually lost money yet again, but gained a very valuable lesson. Never sell anyone else’s crap ever, ever again!

This last week however, I was successful enough in selling a few of “OUR” own items and able to profit enough to pay the car note as my two month extension is up. Like with anything else, there are bumps and bruises, but if you have the right items to sell, eBay can be a great resource of making money.

Due to the last headaches of selling other people’s stuff, I no longer will sell someone else’s junk but would be more than happy to teach anyone out there interested in learning How to Sell on Ebay and sessions CAN be done virtually via the net or telephone.

Happy bidding everyone :o)

If nothing else, use your tongue!

The tongue is a powerful tool and if used the right way you can really make great things happen with a wonderful ending.

Thought that would get your attention, but I what I am referring to is the “Power of Communication.”

For those of us who don’t have a family or a friend to go and run to for financial help, the first thing you need to do is communicate. Oh, it’s definitely one of those days!

In the beginning when the health department first told me the extent of the damage the bugs caused, I knew I had loss some money. I unfortunately didn’t know the true amount at the time or worse that I would continue to lose money along the way. However, the moment I found myself dipping into my savings without an income, I knew I was headed for trouble.

Without hesitation, I communicated.

I contacted every single creditor I owed. Fortunately, I didn’t have a long list of people to contact. I kept my credit cards to a bare minimum. For me, that was only one card as I believed in paying cash for everything and then there’s the damn pain in the ass over priced car payment. And no my payment isn’t astronomical because I drive a luxurious car; it’s high because I got ripped off! I’ve since learned how to configure a great deal on a car and will share that as blogs go on but with this purchase, I was ignorant with auto financing and was taken complete advantage of at the time. Did I mention, I hate Ford? (I told you it’s one of those days)

Now, back to communication. I first applied for a two month extension on my car note and that only cost an upfront fee of $11.95. Actually, that wasn’t bad for a shitty ass credit company (again that’s FORD). It’s important you do this BEFORE you fall behind then they are not as reasonable to work with you. It still can be done even if the case is you're already behind in a payment, you will just have to use your tongue a bit more. Asking for an extension has no effect on your credit and gives you quite a bit of breathing room.

I then applied for insurance on my credit card NOT telling them I was in trouble. The insurance becomes effective the day you apply. Within two weeks after receiving my paperwork in the mail, I politely called back and filed a claim that day.

Now, what’s great is depending on your insurance plan and your card holder, they will make your payments anywhere from three to twelve months with again, no adverse bearing on your credit.

Here’s what I DIDN’T know; your credit is frozen until after the time frame is up. In my case, my plan agreement was to pay my minimum monthly payment for up to three months. Unfortunately, I still had an availability of about $1,000 that I now can’t access during this crunch.

You would be crazy to wait until you suffocate before you communicate with your creditors. These people want their money and as much as we would like to believe they want to hit us with all these fees and mar our credit reports, believe me they’d rather you continue to stay in good standing and hit you instead in the pockets with a ton of interest.

Now I DO NOT have overdraft protection but when I couldn’t make the rent and as I wrote in my previous blog, I was $350 short. What did I do? I simply prayed and used my tongue.

I called the bank and I learned something new myself that day, because truthfully I wasn’t quite sure what the hell I was actually going to tell them or if they could or would help me in any way. What I found in my experiences is that when speaking to customer service reps, you don’t need to make up scenarios as the truth usually works.

I simply told the very nice woman Cindy who answered the phone my current state. I told her I never not intended to put the money in but well, I might need a few more days extra in coming up with the cash and if at all possible to please just not return my rent check. Do you know, this wonderful woman simply said, “No problem, I will note your account and we won’t return the check?” In fact, she proceeded to tell me, “You will be charged a $30 overdraft fee that I have no control of, but once you get it covered go to your branch and speak to a representative there and I’ve just noted that I recommend they reverse the fee. Unfortunately, only your branch can reverse a fee so I can't help you there.” Do you see the power of communication and how mighty the tongue can be?

Don’t feel intimidated either by picking up the phone and talking to your creditors. What you don’t realize is those customer service representatives understand your dilemma more than you know and not because they hear stories all day.

Unfortunately, most customer service reps don’t make much money and for some, it’s even a second job because they can’t make ends meet. Why do you think sometimes when you call up you get the Rep from the Hell? It’s because you just reminded that person that they too are struggling and more than anything they don’t want to be there hearing someone else’s story when they have their own damn problems and that job isn’t putting a dent in their quest for a solution.

Usually when I get a Rep from Hell and my instincts let me know before the conversation even begins as I can tell from their tone, I simply say, “Oh I have the wrong number.” and simply call back. Also, if you do ever get a customer service rep that doesn’t help you in the end with your dilemma, simply call back again and again and in some cases you might have to ask for a supervisor before you get the result you were looking to get.

I’ve met some wonderful customer service reps along the way and some after sharing my story, they’ve shared theirs. Some I’ve ended up feeling bad for and wished when I got back on my feet, that I could actually help them out like two weeks a go when I spoke to a woman from Kansas. Her husband was in an accident and it left him unable to work, they didn’t have insurance and she had to pick up a second job in order for them to survive. Welfare told her they make too much to receive help because she’s $20 over the poverty limit they require you to be at in order to help. But what really struck me with this woman was that she was still happy and thankful with life because she recognized that just her husband being alive was all that really mattered and do you know her only wish? She expressed she just wanted to be able to make enough money so that she could be at home and have dinner with her family at least one night a week. Now, working two jobs she was never home to eat dinner with her two young kids and husband. Since welfare also denied her food stamps, I immediately shared with her my coupon saving tips as she said she had never used them before and was grateful for me sharing my knowledge.

It sounds corny, but I’m inspired every single day as I go through this mess even without money as I meet people and listen to their stories. You would be really surprised how truly powerful the tongue really is if used just the right way!

email reasonsandmore@hotmail.com

She really is Clever with a Quarter

If they judge, "Smack 'em" as Pearl would say!

O.K. so the rent check didn’t bounce, the bank let it clear (I’ll write about how I made that happen without overdraft protection as the days go on) so for now I don’t have to worry about Pearl just yet.

I was however charged an overdraft fee but like I mentioned in my first blog, $30 was a whole lot less than a $75 late fee.

Now there are rules of survival when you’re going through a financial dilemma. Each day, I will touch upon one but the first, the very first, is EMBRACE the NEGATIVE and slap the crap out of it before it slaps you.

Unfortunately, there are going to be so many negative forces coming at you, hitting you dead in the face as the force has been put out there; you’re in a state of need.

And I don’t mean negative forces like bill collectors, because they don’t bother me the least bit. At this point, you should embrace them and welcome them. Hell, call them before they call you, because they can actually help you and I’ll get into all of that in another blog over the next few days.

And yes you might get sick of eating chicken every night but being creative enough you can prepare it in new and tasty ways you never imagined and you know what, as Americans we over eat almost all of the time anyway (we really do and need to change our eating habits even the slim folks for health reasons) so cutting back on a few meals might be just what you need to do regardless. And if the cable goes out, just keep reading my blog daily because I got one for that too providing you haven’t had to resort to selling the DVD or VHS player to make ends meet.

In my case, my negative right now is not just finding a source of steady income and money to pay the bills but I have to buy all new furniture.

And of all the furniture I lost, I dream, oh how I dream, of a bed. No this is really serious. I dream of a bed the way I used to dream and fantasize about a man before all of this happened.

My fantasies now of a bed are so deep, so exciting and so intense they’re almost orgasmic. I mean I get well let’s just say, I get overly zealous below when I fantasize about sleeping in a bed again. And no, not just any bed. After sleeping on an air mattress for weeks and now the futon, I’m talking about a real bona fide, hellafied bed.

I sit here and I imagine this super fine looking, able to hold me and comfort me in a way I’ve never been held before, bed. It’s structurally massive with strong legs and it’s filled with pillows that when I plunge down on it, I’ll just sink, melt away and forget everything. I find myself dreaming that I’ll hug tightly in my arms one of the many down pillows its adorned with and I’ll be slowly rolling and turning every which way moving my legs bit by bit, up and down, against the soft silky feeling 1000 thread count solid Egyptian cotton sheets as I’m wearing just the right short silk cream tap pants that allow my legs to go up and down and oh,……….o.k. I’m back. Forgive me, I told you it’s almost orgasmic this wish I have for a bed now. Who would have thought, that a bed would be my ultimate fantasy man, but back to reality and the futon I now share with my daughter and the other negative forces out there.

Now the one negative force you should look out for and be most aware of is judgment. People who know you and those who don’t are going to judge so be prepared.

Of course not everyone is going to judge, but be prepared for those that do because if you haven’t already accepted that NO ONE has the right to judge you and if you aren’t mentally equipped for those that will, it could really cripple you more during your struggle.

What you need to recognize is those folks that judge aren’t any better than you other than they just might happen to have fatter wallets at the moment, so recognize because they are going to come full speed ahead. “Smack ‘em’” as Pearl would say, before they smack you.

Also look out for the folks who I really love; the folks who tell you what to do and how to do it and are really in no better a position than you are and most are only a check away from disaster themselves. Then there are the ones who will have all of the solutions to offer you verbally, but wouldn’t help you with working out one of those solutions even though they are in position to do so.

You also need to know that as much as these negative people are out there, there are also just as many you will be blessed with during the struggle that will help. They will not judge and they will offer help whether it’s financial, spiritual or with knowledge. If you’re lucky, they’ll come like three kings bearing all.

What I’ve always had a hard time with is recognizing not those that judge, I’ve seen more of them than those disgusting bugs in that apartment and unfortunately there’s no pesticide for them either, just run!

No the ones I have a hard time recognizing are those that come with blessings. I unfortunately have been here before and sometimes because of so many of the negatives hitting me all at once, I didn’t recognize the blessings that came my way. I almost made that mistake again just yesterday. Note to self, tomorrow’s blog, “How to tell a Bug from a Blessing.”

Here’s how I embraced the negative during this go around. Since we now live in a technological world, I put this blog out there. Putting this blog out there was something I thought long and hard about almost as much as I thought about that super fine bed I yearn for.

I decided to do it not to gain instant monetary help, because I already know numerous people in a financial position to help. It would be nothing for them to write a check whether it was a gift or a loan and it wouldn’t affect their daily life or future in the least bit. But you see they would never do that and I know that already.

Most of those people I’m referring to are reading this blog right at this moment and will continue to read this blog daily and never even let me know they are aware of my current plight or acknowledge the blog to me in any way. You see these are the folks who are rooting for me to fail; to fall harder. What doing this does is that it allows them to feel better in their worlds they’ve created with material and monetary things yet, unfortunately are still unhappy. When people are unhappy with themselves, they can’t be happy for someone else; money has nothing to do with it.

An acquaintance told me recently, when people say they are happy for you, what they really mean is “I’m happy for you as long as you’re not happier than me.” Wow, I never really thought of it like that before but I would suppose with some folks he’s right.

When I hear people with an abundance of money say, money doesn’t make you happy, I feel sorry for them. I am happy now in my life even as I struggle financially, but with an abundance of money oh my goodness, the skies would be the limit in regards to my happiness. It would allow me to fulfill so many of my dreams and then some. I’d also be able to help others who like me are happy but are unfortunately also challenged economically.

MONEY WOULD DEFINITELY NOT MAKE ME HAPPY right now, it would make me HAPPIER. Look at that, I just came up with a new way to generate some income. In a few days, you will officially be able to buy a T-shirt right here that says one of two things, “Money doesn’t make me happy. It makes me Happier!” or perhaps for some of you, you might prefer, “Money doesn’t make me happy at least that what’s I tell my friends who are broke.” All proceeds of the sales will go to the Hellafied Bed Fund :o)

Now, if someone has money, is healthy and is in a fairly normal mental state and still is unhappy, I feel terribly sad for them. They just don’t get it. The house excuse me, I mean the houses, the husband/the wife, the lovers on the side, the cars and all the trips around the world still can’t quite fill these folks lives with the joy they seek.

Me as I said, even through this journey of “temporary” financial hardship, I am happy with life. If these people lived one day in my shoes, I’d bet you their asses wouldn’t be running that line, “money doesn’t make you happy.” Bull! Let me tell you something as an example, illness can hit any one of us money or not as we all know, but stress is a surefire killer. And you’d rather be a person with money then without going through an illness. You can get the best doctors, a quicker doctor’s appointment, hell just the fact that you can go to a doctor is a start, some folks without money can’t even do that. You’re more than likely not to have to worry about the cost of a surgery whereas someone without money along with being unfortunately ill, they have to now worry if they can even afford the surgery and hope the stress of it all doesn’t kill them first. You believe money doesn’t make a difference and create happiness you’re sadly mistaken.

As I mentioned I am actually happy even through all of this. I am absolutely in love with the way my kid has turned out and you know what, it was all me. No extended family to help raise her or unfortunately no father although I do believe every child deserves to have two parents (like I said, another day, another blog). She and I even after sharing tears through this mess still find a way to laugh our heads off, to dream about tomorrow and continuously come up with new and creative ways to make money. I am absolutely thrilled that I was blessed with a spirit to want to be an entrepreneur. I haven’t quite figured it out but I love that I won’t give up. Each day I create, I passionately research and meet exciting people who motivate me and allow me to continue to dream. I love that I’m not afraid to admit when I mess up (there was a time when I couldn’t do that long, long ago) and more importantly I love that I just don’t really have any more fears.

I used to be fearful of so many things but now, well now I’ve just stumbled so many times but always some how gotten right back up and found a way that now it’s just a matter of when will I stand again not will I stand again. And I confess, maybe the bugs scared my ass a bit but other than that no fears.

I love that God made me this way and I embrace each and every negative that has ever crossed my path. I know, in fact I am absolutely certain that this will all make sense in the end and only lead me to do great things.

I decided to write this blog because a friend of mine who continuously inspires and supports me, reminded me recently that I once desired putting down all of my survival tools in an effort to help other people who like me have stumbled and perhaps are not as clever with a quarter. The Survival Guide along with helping others would eventually generate another source of income.

Blogging also allows me to challenge myself. I now have put all of this out there for the world to read and to judge. Now as much as I am not emotionally affected by the judgers (I’ve since passed that five or six struggles ago) and as I just stated no one has the right to judge, folks still will. Inspiration comes to us in many ways and if having the world looking at me while I’m down actually inspires me in some way to make it all happen, then welcome to my blog.

Wow, I just motivated the crap out of myself. With that, I bid adieu as I must now go and make this quarter work for me today before Pearl comes again knocking at my door.
email reasonsandmore@hotmail.com

More Crazy than Clever these days!

Now, this is “Clever with a Quarter’s” first blog and I did something just now that probably wasn't so clever. I just gave in my rent check knowing damn well, I'm still $350 short in my bank account. Now don't think I didn't give this much thought. No I really did thinkthis out. You see I weighed what was more, the $75 late fee or the $30 overdraft charge. Well duh, the overdraft charge won but what I’m really banking on is that I will be clever enough with a quarter to figure out how to cover the $350 before either fee comes into play.

O.K. before you start judging, let me explain that I have never written checks that I couldn’t cover before but desperate measures require desperate times and unfortunately, desperate thinking comes right along. Really though, I’m trying this new positive power of thinking thing everyone I hear WHO HAS MONEY talks about. So I’m trying to think optimistically that I will figure this one out like I’ve done so many and too many times before.

How did I get here????
You see my daughter and I just lost everything remotely familiar and of value to us. Wait, I take that back before all of you positive able to think clearly people with money start emailing me; we have each other, our health and this piece of crap Ford car that I made the mistake of leasing a few years ago (that’s a whole other blog but trust me unless you’re getting an old early edition mustang, don’t give Ford your money; both their cars and their service are the absolute worse). Back to how we loss everything. Believe it or not through a disgusting invasion of BUGS!!!!

At the end of June, my daughter and I moved into what appeared to be a big beautiful two bedroom apartment with living room, eat in kitchen and even a small space for an office. I had a nice cushion, so I thought, of money and bought wonderful new furniture as we never had anything really new or nice before. A single mother with no family and no child support (another blog, another day) money was always tight and well, I was always clever with a quarter in coming up with what we needed.

Sometimes I worked 2 or 3 jobs at once taking my daughter with me to my second and third jobs. Yep, just like a West Indian they would joke about on in Living Color or was that Saturday Night Live?hmmm…. I can’t remember now but anyway, I worked by day at my seemingly appropriate Corporate America job and then in the evenings I’d do customer service from 11pm – 6am while I made a padded bed of pillows and a comforter for my daughter on the floor so she could sleep and then on the weekends, not every weekend but at least twice out of the month, I’d do the hardest job, catering. My daughter came with me there too but damn that job was so hard. Carrying heavy pots of hot food, getting burned on occasion and worse no tip. I eventually became clever enough that I didn’t need that job anymore.

So we moved into this “picture” perfect apartment and then when the lights went out, oh my gosh!!! Bugs, bugs and then more freakin’ bugs!!! Bugs I had never even seen before or even had a name for where in this place. Within two short weeks, my poor daughter was covered in welts from what I learned to be BED BUGS after calling both the doctor and the Health Department repeatedly.
I was bitten too but had no physical reaction to the bites but mentally I was losing my mind. I still have these flinching bug seizures as I call them from time to time even now because I’ll think I see a bug out of the corner of my eye.

These nasty critters were not just satisfied in our new mattresses and pillows so they invaded our headboards, my daughter’s shoes in the closet, which we figured out only after her feet were bitten up terribly (that's one in her left shoe and for those of you who are a wee bit confused, that's HER LEFT, your RIGHT. And the nerve of those damn bugs, these were a pair of British designer's LuLu Guinness shoes! How dare they!!!!)
They invaded my favorite wicker chair from Italy and all of our new furniture; it included our new Crate & Barrel sofa, a leather loveseat with matching chair and ottoman, even framed artwork which took me years to pay the hundreds of dollars to get them each framed in the first place were now all ridden with bugs. These bugs took over our lives in a matter of a wink.

These suckers as they’re just that, they feed off of blood (unfortunately, I am now an official bed bug expert) even invaded my laptop. It crashed twice! Now it was officially war! My laptop was my sole means of getting money as I worked successfully for myself from home with an online retail store.

If you want to truly know how damaging both physically and emotionally these bugs are just go to http://www.youtube.com/ and type in bed bug. Click on the first BED BUG ATTACKS video and hold your stomach. It’s horrible and disgusting.

We instantly went from sleeping on new queen size beds to sleeping head to toe on the sofa which was now covered in four plastic shower curtains hoping the bugs didn’t crawl out and bite on us. We were told by the Health Department that it is difficult for the bugs to latch on to smooth surfaces. They were wrong!!!!

This place was so heavily infested that each night when we came in, I’d look on the sofa and see very faint red marks (the bugs are hardly noticeable until they find a host and start feeding– told you I’m an official expert now) and I’d have to wipe it clean with a piece of packaging tape to catch the nasty bastards. My daughter would never sleep at night and if she did ever fall asleep there, it was out of sheer exhaustion. If I went to sleep, it would be sitting straight up with my feet off of the ground because they would come out of the carpet at night and bite the crap out of my legs. It became regular practice that my daughter would only sleep in the car as I drove around sometimes aimlessly just to get away from the bugs.

Where’s the landlord in all of this??? Living off site near the water in a bed bug free condo. This woman when I confronted her had the audacity to admit she knew of the bed bug problem three months prior to us moving in. Yes, this horrible excuse of a human being knew of the problem and let us not only move in, but had her 90 year-old mother in the up stairs apartment bedridden with an aide watching over her also getting bitten. This woman was pure evil!!!! As Bernie Mac would say, "She must be a Shepherd for the Devil!"

I asked the aide one day if she also was aware of the problem and saying nothing, she just extended her arms to me showing me welts from her wrists to her upper arms. I hate to stereotype but this fool woman had to be illegal to this country as she told me in a thick accent, “I told her about these months ago.” I say she must be illegal because why in the hell, was she putting up with this?!!!!? Tell your agency you want another client and report the devil woman is what I’m thinking.

The evil woman comes by the next day after I complain to her and starts spraying pesticides like she’s a professional exterminator and very comfortable doing this as obviously she had done it before. Long story short both my daughter and I awoke the next day with diarrhea with my daughter vomiting too. That was it for me! I called the Health department yet again to find out what I already knew; we had inhaled too much of the pesticides is what they told me (you think). They continued truthfully that it would take a minimum of two but in this case probably three PROFESSIONAL (not Nasty Nancy the self-proclaimed exterminator) fumigations along with getting rid of all of our furniture including appliances. We would be at very high risk taking anything with us because these disgusting bugs can HIBERNATE up to 18 months in a piece of furniture, behind a picture, in an appliance without a host. Considering the current infestation and the damage already caused they strongly urged me to not take any of our belongings. I sadly agreed.

Could you believe this crap??? Just that quickly, in a matter of weeks my whole life changed. Not only did we lose all of our belongings we were only able to salvage some clothes only after washing them twice before going to our new place. Many of our clothes like our cashmere pieces ended up with holes from the pesticides and some I just saw bugs in and was like forget this, you win you can have it. I now have basically my whole wardrobe of clothes that could be saved in the dry cleaners now with a $500 bill because most of my items were dry clean only.

We drove away with 3 bins of clothes and my paperwork. My daughter cried when we realized her treasured softball mitts were infected and I couldn’t afford to get them professionally cleaned so we left them behind along with a stuffed animal from her new and first boyfriend. Memories and money were flying out of the window.

For obvious reasons we couldn’t eat in the apartment, not so much because of the bugs but the pesticides. I mentioned I worked for myself selling high-end clothing online, between the bugs invading my inventory and then them causing my laptop to crash, work was on hold. One, I couldn’t work without a laptop and two, I have a conscience and couldn’t risk infecting someone else’s home. Thank goodness for that cushion of money. WRONG!!! All of that coupled with having to find a new place to live, which required now another month’s security and another month’s rent well that three months safety cushion they say you should have disappeared before my eyes.

I’m currently taking the shepherd for the devil to Civil Court as I loss everything and she refuses to file a homeowner’s insurance claim and I unfortunately, didn’t have renter’s insurance. $22,000 worth of damages. All gone in an instant.

It will be 6-8 months before we even get a court date and that’s long money as they say. It’s not guaranteed I’ll ever recoup it all or any and no matter what it doesn’t even cover the emotional damages or the scars that still cover my daughter’s body from the bites and my bug flinching seizures.

I had to make a fast decision and get us out immediately because like I said, money was flying out of the window. With my income on hold, I had to weigh do we risk going into another place by a private owner giving two months security even though it’s against the law but private owner’s could care less and would it be bug free? Do I pay an astronomical fee to a realtor anywhere from $1,200 -$2,300 for the average rental fees here in New York City or do I find a new clean apartment in a well managed building and pay the one month rent and security with amenities out the ass??? I chose the latter and my ass is severely hurting now.

After exhausting all of my savings and resources that we had left, we now live in a studio with an echoing because it’s empty except for our three bins and our futon. We shared an air mattress up until a few days ago when an agency donated a $300 gift card to us after I sought help and so we upgraded to the futon. I much prefer waking up to the metal rod of the futon in my back because as much as I love my daughter, waking up face-to-face basically kissing her because each morning the air mattress would be sunken in the middle was killing my back even more. The futon is also so much warmer, the air mattress seemed to absorb the cold of the wood floor and we would be freezing as the weather has changed here in New York and our new fleece blanket I bought us just didn’t keep us warm enough. We lost all of our new bedding including my new down comforter to the bugs.

Now more than ever I have to be clever with a quarter. I found out that there is no help for people who get invaded by bugs. Help organizations and I use that term “help” loosely only help if you experience a loss from flood or fire. Although the end result is the same, you lose everything and need to start over, there really isn’t any help.

I met with one agency on Monday who offered to only give us help if we would share our story with the NY Times so they could get publicity in hopes to bring in more money for their agency and then they could help more people. In exchange for our story, we would receive a new bed. They told us they don’t normally help people like us (people like us, hmmmm would that be people in need) but strangely enough they do help people who are on public assistance or receiving some kind of aid. Did I mention this was a “charitable” organization? My daughter quickly responded to the woman at the organization, “So you won’t help us unless we give a story so you can hopefully get more money to help other people who are already receiving HELP!” If only you could have seen this woman’s face when my daughter said that. I love that little girl! In any event, the woman very uncomfortably responded, “Well you’ll get a bed.”

So basically, no story, no help and OK maybe I wasn’t thinking so clearly or perhaps I’m not as desperate as I thought because I declined their offer and decided to suffer a bit longer on the futon with the metal in my back until I figure out this mess.

Now, I must say though in my tiresome search to find help and as one agency passed me on to the next agency, we came across the Tzu Chi Foundation http://www.tzuchi.org/ They are a Buddhist privately run true “charitable” organization. God bless these people. I spoke with them only one time and they came right over to visit us. They neither judged, inquired in such a way that I felt it was too intrusive or hesitated because within one day they called and returned with a gift of a $300 debit card to use as needed. No social security number to be given out, no demeaning questions, no overbearing paperwork just well wishes and a gift card. I swear when I get out of this mess I will without hesitation donate to this organization.

In the past I have become the ultimate coupon queen getting $200 worth of groceries for as little as $20 and then reselling them out of the trunk of my car to the local bodegas and small grocery stores for a great profit to make ends meet. I’ve sold items on eBay and became a Power Seller in just months and I’ve even worked odd jobs while giving my nine-to-five to corporate America.

This time I think it is more than a challenge because well for starters, there is no 9-5 currently and I can’t interview because my suits are all in the cleaners. I could see it now. Sitting on an interview and saying, "Please forgive me for showing up in my jeans and my daughter's hoodie today. You see bugs invaded my wardrobe and they just loved my new Chaiken suit so much I had to wear this instead."

I’ve exhausted all of my resources and lastly, I can’t quite catch a good night’s rest because the metal rod just doesn’t quite hug me at the night quite like I would like to be held so needless to say, I’m grumpy in the mornings. So yes, this is a challenge but I think it will be quite interesting to see how the hell I get out of this mess and figured I’d take you all on my journey.

Each day, I’ll blog and we’ll see just how Clever with a Quarter I really am :o)

email reasonsandmore@hotmail.com